TW/CW: Suicide, Hiding, Depression, Anxiety, Gender

 

 

 

What’s the difference between living and existing?

Well, to live, you need to enjoy your life. You need to want to live; express yourself; work; eat; laugh.

Anyone can just exist. I existed for sixteen years before I started living. I started living on September 16th, 2014, after I attempted suicide.

It’s a strange concept, but for me – the near-death experience, the truth, and the trust… That helped me.

I wanted to die because I couldn’t be me. I thought if I died – I wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

Then, I was stopped. I was practically talked out of hiding myself. I stopped what I was doing and looked in the mirror – that was the day that I saw myself.

It took another six months until I fully outed myself. I initially came out as Genderfluid – which eventually mutated into Trans Non-Binary.

I began to live on September 16th, 2014, but I fully began to live on March 25th, 2015.

It’s almost my Gender birthday, and I am so excited to celebrate three years of living as me.

I was ready to end it all, then I started to live.