TW: Suicide, Depression, Acting


I have major depressive disorder. It’s a mental health condition that can cause me to feel low, worthless, upset, anxious, and angry.

Here is what happens when a switch flips in my brain:

I may look happy; I may be the one making the jokes; but on the inside, theories of self-doubt are swirling around inside of my head. I can feel upset, depressed, and even suicidal – but you wouldn’t know. You’d just see me smiling, happy and laughing.


And that’s how it is for me. You can’t tell that I have an issue because I’ve become such a good actor – my performances are stunning, you can’t see it’s a facade.

People get Oscars for acting, so where’s mine? Where’s the Oscars for all the award-winning performances that thousands of people do every day to hide the shadows inside?

I suppose you only get an award for acting if you get caught doing it…



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