Over the past few days, so many of my friends have been having or showing off their new children… And it’s freaking me out because I sort of want one but definitely don’t.

So, why won’t I have one? Because birth isn’t like this:

If I just sneezed and it just flew out, I’d be down! But, I have way too many problems with my cervix… It probably wouldn’t let it pass!

But, then there are the bonus’ of children… The funny as shit moments!


But, it’s not going to happen. Why? Because every child in my family has always turned out to be a little shit. Just to let you know, their parents have allowed me to mention them! So, by little shits I mean – I will smack you in the face, Aunt Amore. 

My nephew Harvey is like this:


And, I’m pretty confident – if any of the kids knew how to swear, drive their pram, and use the bird – they probably would…


As you can imagine: I’m not having any tiny demons! I’ll adopt the post-demon stage kids instead!

Written by: Amore Kasey