Although I love my readers that I have on the Live Love Laugh Ranting site – I know we do get a lot of random readers…

Random readers come in, comment when they don’t understand and then leave again…

These type of readers scare me a little because I know they can say hurtful things – a few months ago, I posted about racism and I was actually called racist for saying its common for white men to be racist to black men – I wasn’t saying anything wrong, I was just saying what I have observed – I was then called racist for defending black people – the commenter was trying to make it out that I had said that black people are NEVER racist and then assumed I was not white myself – when I said I was white he then said I was lying and that our whole organisation was just the start of a black version of the KKK…

These comments were then removed by my moderator, R&A and secretary – Jesse.

Not because he knew these comments were upsetting me but because 30 or more readers read and commented back to the clearly trolling passerby – he was being cruel and our readers weren’t just getting offended but they were getting upset and they had every right to!

I thank Jesse so often for deleting comments like that because we get so many that just don’t even seem to know who we are and what we do.

I commented on my looks last year in an article and I basically said that I should die for being so ugly – this article was also removed by Jesse for the inappropriateness that was said by myself…

I basically made fun of my looks and weight because my self esteem is bad and I thought, why let other people do it for me –  I might as well do it too.

This was before my suicide attempt on September 16th.

Some readers took to trying to tell me I was pretty and some just got angry with me due to the cruel phrases I used against myself…

Jesse deleted it – but now, today, in less than two hours I have to wait for comments to flood in – I don’t know if I’ll get any comments – whether they will be on Youtube or WordPress – but if I do I know some of those comments will be about how I look or about the topic.

I know there will be the odd troll saying that I should have died when I attempted suicide because my “face is that ugly” but…

I’m scared because I don’t know if people will be able to listen to the message over the person, myself, presenting it….

This will be interesting…