We all think about whether we “look” good enough at some point and for a lot of people, it’s something that they have to cope with everyday.

I, for one, are one female that is also conscience, why? Because my butt is too big, my stomach is too big and my chin is too fat.

Why am I self conscience about it? Because people in my area told me that the only type of girl they want are skinny or someone who is basically anorexic, which is how I ended up becoming bulimic.

And here is the reason why I did it to myself!

Because people told my I had to be a type of women, I had to look a specific way.

I had to have curves but no fat.

I had to have blonde or brown hair.

I had to have big hips and have small thighs….

And if you’ve met me, whether it was at Leeds Wrestling last year or at the arts and crafts festival during summer, or if you’ve seen a picture of me, you’ll know I am none of the things above.

I am fat, I have huge hips, big thighs and Orange hair (Occasionally pink or green).

Boobs wise, I am what most people called average and a lot of people said it was the only attractive thing on me, because even my butt was too big…

And, honestly, I don’t think I have big boobs, they are just medium sized, nothing special.

Am I attractive? No. I never said I was, I never have been and I probably never will be because fashion, the national health service, people and above all, myself, none of those listed are happy with me being fat, overweight or how I am labelled at being obese…

Fashion tells people like me that no one will love me unless I’m a size 10 or lower.

The NHS has told me that I won’t be able to wear nice clothes because my body hates me and continues to make me put weight on even though I mainly eat chicken salads.

People tell me that I have to look a specific way to be attractive or to even be liked by anyone or to make friends.

And I am told by myself that my body isn’t good enough for the people I love because my body isn’t thin enough, my boobs aren’t big enough and my hips are too big! My hair isn’t long enough and all in all, I hate how I look. I’m not pretty and I look awful.


Now, I learnt something when I met my partner, Jordan. He told me that I was beautiful and he loved how I look. Why? I don’t know, maybe he likes big thighs or big asses or medium boobs or maybe he likes that I’m fat because I can be his own personal teddy bear?


I suffered for so long thinking I was awful to everyone’s eyes only to realize that I just hadn’t found the right person for me, yet.

Jordan likes how I look and he loves me.

Some girls would probably not like how he looks because he’s too tall for them or too skinny or too strong or maybe they don’t like Mexican….

But to me, Jordan is my perfect partner in both looks and personality.

I love playing video games and watching movies with him, we both love walking and we both love watching youtube!

I love tall people, he loves short people.

I love women, he sometimes dresses up as a woman.

He loves women, I have a vagina.

I have a man to lay on in bed, he has a teddy to cuddle.

He’s my man, my girl and my bestfriend.

I’m his masculine female, feminine female and his bestfriend as well.


We all have someone in the world that wants to be with us.

Whether that person is in the same street, a city away, a country away or even on the other side of the world.

As long as you have faith in finding love and not just giving up because you don’t have what some people call “the perfect body” but in fact, there isn’t one!

Everyone likes a specific body type and I’m just lucky enough to have found someone who likes mine just as much as I like theirs!

Just remember, if your girlfriend/boyfriend feels this way, tell them how much you like their body  and why.

Don’t just make them think they’re ugly or not good enough….

Learn to love yourself and show those who you love how much you love them or you’ll loose them.


Thanks for reading.